Pay 25000 To Watch Jay Z, Coldplay & Devendra Fadnavis End Poverty

9 September 2016

In one of the most confounding pieces of ‘news’ we’ve read all month (beating even our favourite viral headline), Mumbai newspaper Mid-day has revealed details of Coldplay’s Chris Martin and Jay-Z joining forces in Mumbai later this year - performing alongside a host of fresh faces including Amitabh Bachchan, A.R. Rahman, Deepika Padukone “etc.”

Politicians will also take a break from the often mundane task of governing the world, with the Prime Minister of India Narendra Modi, the Chief Minister and various unnamed “international dignitaries” joining in the festivities.

What with the unbelievable ‘lineup’ and sufficiently vague language, the news has, not shockingly, been met with some disbelief from fans in India. Mid-Day’s “well connected sources” tell them that the performance will take place in Mumbai on 19 November with tickets up for sale on Book My Show from 12 September onwards, prices apparently ranging from 25000 INR to 5 lakh (only the cost of a semi-healthy kidney).

But the cost of the ticket is, in fact, completely justified. Mid-day also informs its readers that the event will be a charitable one – “the intention behind the concert is to support a noble cause, of removing extreme poverty from the entire world by 2030.” (that sounds familiar) If only centuries of economics had known prior to this that it would just take a Chris Martin and Jay Z alliance to make the world right.

We are truly in the golden age of journalism. Read the original article here and remember Mid-Day told you first (and if this does turn out to be true we’re going to dig a hole somewhere and live in it till this madness passes).


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